The story of the friend zone.

I don't really know why I'm starting a blog. I mean, I read a lot of them and I write for a living but it just never really occurred to me before.

I guess I figured I didn't really have anything all that interesting to say. Maybe I still don't. But I figured I'd give it a shot. It's also a way for me to write down the stuff I don't really have the courage to say to anyone else.

See, I have always been really really terrible at telling people how I feel or taking any sort of gamble in the love stakes whatsoever. Hence the name of this blog- I wait so long to make a move ( read: never) that I always end up on the friend zone one way or another.

I spent almost three years in love with my best friend and I never breathed a word to him. Thought about telling him a lot, rehearsed what I was going to say, never went through with it. He is in a relationship now and I'm not in love with him anymore but a part of me still hates myself for not telling him. It's unfinished business, you know?

So I guess that's what this blog is going to be about- maybe in a twisted way it will force me to be more courageous in real life. My ex-boyfriend and I were flatmates and the one day he told me he was in love with me. The thought of doing something like that fills me with dread. I mean that takes guts- the kind of guts I would never have! And the stupid part is, I am quite a strong and confident person in every other aspect of my life, particularly professionally. So why do I think the world will end if I tell a guy he is cute?

And God knows, whatever I have been doing so far isn't really working for me. I've had relationships and they've ended and I'm still single and living alone. Even though I know I'm being stupid, sometimes it feels like it is going to be that way forever.

So here's to ending the stupid cowardly lion act. Let's hope I have some luck.